"Hello, M'lady!" the bustier-wearing teenager cried as I walked past her Tex-Mex booth. "Mayhap M'lady would be interested in experiencing the taste of the time when knights roamed the land in search of chivalrous acts to perform, and ladies donned their favor with a silk scarf or a posy?"
"Sure. What are those, fajitas?" I asked, examining her wares.
"Aye, truly M'lady!" she said. "Small, medium or jumbo? Also we have Mountain Dew."
It's a special time of year, the time when a man can wear a beer mug tied to his belt and a woman can dress like Princess Busty from the Kingdom of Cleavage and no one will arrest them for public intoxication or soliciting.
Scarborough Faire, starting Saturday and running until May 28, is an annual festival of Renaissance- themed debauchery, and I recommend that everyone go, if only to experience the roaming "minstrels" who tell "jokes" in bad "British" "accents," then demand "alms."
Another thing to watch for amongst the jousting and mead-swilling is the Starfleet away team. I have never personally witnessed this spectacle, but it is told in legend that sometimes people will attend Scarborough wearing Star Trek uniforms and pretend that they are investigating a planet that is still in the early stages of civilization. Look for them at the fajita booth.
Probably the most significant thing about Scarborough Faire, though, is the way it shines a spotlight on its home of Waxahachie, a town about 30 miles south of Dallas.
For most of the year, Waxahachie is only known for being the place that you drive through when you're coming home from a long weekend in Austin and getting there makes you think that you're almost home and don't need to stop for gas or to pee but as it turns out you're really about a billion miles from home when you measure it in terms of how bad you had to pee for those last 30 minutes.
In conclusion, if you're going to Scarborough Faire, look for me! I'll be in the Lt. Commander uniform.
Jessica is also fond of the Medieval delicacy Ye Olde Giante Turkey Legs. E-mail her at jburgess@quickdfw.com.
