Have you heard the "hot news" in the world of literature? Celebrity crime Web site The Smoking Gun is claiming that writer James Frey fabricated parts of his Oprah-endorsed drug-and-alcohol-addiction memoir A Million Little Pieces.
Jessica Burgess
Clearly Unedited
As a fellow writer, I am overcome with emotion at this revelation. And that emotion is disinterest.
Who cares if Frey took a little poetic license? Honestly, to be successful, you've got to tweak your boring old biography to include elements you know will really resonate with consumers.
Let me show you what I mean with some excerpts from my own memoir (for which I am still seeking an agent and publisher, by the way):
At age 11, I found out that I had magical powers. Then I went to a boarding school called Pigblemishes and had fantastic adventures with my friends Don and, um, Bermione.
In the '60s, I became a well-known singer with hits such as "Circle of Flame" and "Walk the Geometric Element That Is Generated by a Moving Point."
I have a really popular cooking show on The Food Network. Plus I am cute. Also, my name is Rachael Ray.
I used to be a Jedi Knight until the emperor tricked me and I killed a bunch of people. Then I fell in a volcano.
This diet that I invented and named after a beachy region in southern Florida can rid you of 14 pounds of unsightly belly fat in just two weeks.
My investigation of the Mona Lisa painting proves that Jesus was a woman. Or something like that. (I didn't quite make it all the way through The Da Vinci Code, my inspiration material.)
I am a gay cowboy.
And a geisha.
See? Even though not all these facts are 100 percent true, I have no ethical problem with presenting them as episodes in my own life. It's totally OK to "fudge" some things if your (totally innocent and understandable) goal is a more compelling story.
And maybe an endorsement from Oprah.
Jessica forgot to mention that she also spent some time as a hobbit with a magic ring. E-mail her at jburgess@quickdfw.com.
