Editor's note: This is the diary of a solo 10-hour drive through West Texas and New Mexico.
Hour 1: Yay! This is a great adventure! I've got a full tank of gas and nothing but wide road ahead! Maybe I'll write a book: On the Road – 2006. Or Travels with Jessie. Except that "Jessie" makes me think of John Stamos. Oh well, I'll think of a title later.
Jessica Burgess
Clearly Unedited
Hour 2: I'm hungry. And I've lost my radio stations.
Hour 2.5: Yeah, I'm pretty hungry.
Hour 3: Is that a Whataburger? Where's the exit – [exit whooshes by]. CRAP. Well, I'm sure there are more restaurants coming up. I mean, this is West Texas, not the Sahara.
Hour 4: [Morosely chewing extremely hard Mentos retrieved from under passenger seat.]
Hour 4.5: Hey, I made it to Amarillo! This is a big city! I can get something to eat, stretch my legs, buy some gas.
Hour 4.6: Whew. This place smells like horse poo.
Hour 4.7: [Sound of Whataburger sandwich being aggressively masticated.]
Hour 4.8: I think I'll stop in this Barnes & Noble and buy a book on CD since my iTrip isn't working and I'm about to claw my own eyes out just so my screams of pain will break the never-ending silence.
Hour 4.9: "Hello! I would like to buy a venti caramel frappuccino and this audiobook of Shopaholic & Sister by Sophie Kinsella. Also, is there any way you can make the credit-card charge say something like 'nonfat latte and Classics of Western Literature' instead? No? OK, just asking."
Hour 5: [Humming "On the Road Again."]
Hour 6: I'm in New Mexico! A new state! A new time zone! I feel very invigorated. Lookit those mountains! Yow! And the speed limit here is 75 mph. I'll be there before I know it!
Hour 7: Ten hours is a [disproportionately vulgar expletive] long time. Maybe I should have flown.
Hour 8: [Staring straight ahead vacantly, mouth slightly agape.]
Hour 9: Oh God. Almost there. I can do this. C'mon! [Drinking Gatorade.] Think positive. [Opening window, sticking entire head out.] Stay focused!
Hour 10: I made it! I'm here in beautiful Albuquerque! What should I do first? Some hiking? Horseback riding? Or should I perhaps track down some delicious Southwestern cuisine?
Hour 10.01: [Plan-making abruptly interrupted by vigorous snoring.]
Jessica has settled on a title for her travel book: Numb Became My Butt. E-mail her at jburgess@quickdfw.com.
