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Trash talk: Tabloid roundup

06:12 PM CST on Tuesday, November 2, 2004

What made the cover:
• "O.J. busted!" (The National Enquirer)
• "Chris Reeve's widow: The secret man in her life" (National Examiner)
• "Marilyn Monroe found alive!" (Weekly World News)

Couple watch:
The National Enquirer reports that "former child star Joey Lawrence is splitting from his wife of just two years," Michelle Vella and that Nicky Hilton has "returned her [wedding] ring" to husband Todd Meister. National Examiner reports that Ben Affleck's mom is "thrilled he's moved on to a new Jen," actress Jennifer Garner.

Celebrity scandal of the week:
"Liza Minnelli back on booze and out of control" (The National Enquirer)

Goofiest headline:
"Stallone's psychic mom is now reading rumps!" (National Examiner)

Headline that will make you feel like a loser:
"Hero boy nails child kidnapper" (National Examiner)

Headline that will make you feel better:
"Naked Mondays are on the way" (Weekly World News)

Most who-cares story:
"Jack Nicholson gives Alec [Baldwin] the cold shoulder" (National Examiner)

Least likely story:
"Jay Leno's chin is fake" (Weekly World News)

Least shocking story:
"Outraged fans blast Ashlee Simpson over lip-synch disaster" (The National Enquirer)

Obligatory bizarro story:
"Super hippies: 1960s dropouts have developed psychic powers" (Weekly World News)

Advice corner:
The National Enquirer warns that "gum disease can wreck your smile and your health," while National Examiner lists "10 top reasons why men ditch women."

ELLEN HENDERSON /DallasNews.com


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Trash talk looks at the week's tabloids, so you don't have to.

E-mail BreakRoom@dallasnews.com