What made the cover:
• "O.J. busted!" (The
National Enquirer)
• "Chris Reeve's widow: The secret man in her
life" (National Examiner)
• "Marilyn Monroe found alive!"
(Weekly World News)
Couple watch:
The National Enquirer reports that
"former child star Joey Lawrence is splitting from his wife of just two
years," Michelle Vella and that Nicky Hilton has "returned her [wedding]
ring" to husband Todd Meister. National Examiner reports
that Ben Affleck's mom is "thrilled he's moved on to a new Jen," actress
Jennifer Garner.
Celebrity scandal of the week:
"Liza Minnelli back on booze
and out of control" (The National Enquirer)
Goofiest headline:
"Stallone's psychic mom is now reading
rumps!" (National Examiner)
Headline that will make you feel like a loser:
"Hero boy nails
child kidnapper" (National Examiner)
Headline that will make you feel better:
"Naked Mondays are on
the way" (Weekly World News)
Most who-cares story:
"Jack Nicholson gives Alec [Baldwin] the
cold shoulder" (National Examiner)
Least likely story:
"Jay Leno's chin is fake"
(Weekly World News)
Least shocking story:
"Outraged fans blast Ashlee Simpson over
lip-synch disaster" (The National Enquirer)
Obligatory bizarro story:
"Super hippies: 1960s dropouts have
developed psychic powers" (Weekly World News)
Advice corner:
The National Enquirer warns that "gum
disease can wreck your smile and your health," while National
Examiner lists "10 top reasons why men ditch women."
–ELLEN HENDERSON /DallasNews.com
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Trash talk looks at the week's tabloids, so you don't have to.
E-mail BreakRoom@dallasnews.com