05/07/2008

'Iron Man,' Economy Woes and Avery
I guess America believes in Robert Downey Jr. as a superhero, because Iron Man cleaned up at the box office. I figured the only superhero he'd be able to pull off was Gary from the Ambiguously Gay Duo.

04/30/2008

Miley, Grand Theft Auto & Wesley Snipes
Miley Cyrus is freaking about Annie Leibovitz shots she posed for. Haven't seen them, but since it's Leibovitz, I'll assume she's naked and pregnant. Probably a tribute to Juno.

04/23/2008

Carpooling, Massages, Madonna
So how high does gas have to get before a high-powered, non-attorney such as you relents to carpooling? Considering of course, the added commute time and uncomfortable, forced conversation with co-worker cheapskates that comes with it?

04/16/2008

On Charlton Heston, Vegas and Kobe
The beloved Charlton Heston has passed on to the next plane. Whether it was his work with monkeys, guns or commandments, he brought class to the party. Plus, he played a really convincing Mexican in A Touch of Evil, if you've never been around Mexicans.

04/09/2008

On Mariah, Dirk and Stripping For Hef
Ben: I saw her on SNL recently, and her jeans were so tight that I could see the imprint of her back pockets from the front. I've never wanted to be a pair of jeans so badly in my life. She's the new poster MILF for R&B soccer moms. And she clearly hates Elvis.

04/02/2008

'I Am Legend', Hipster mustaches, Another failed baseball campaign
Ben: I absolutely loved it! Granted, my expectations were low after everyone and their mother took a broomstick to it like it was a piñata full of mortgage coupons. Sure, there are a few potholes in the plot, but overall it's movie-watchin' magic, baby. Unless someone breaks out a film degree and starts movie-bullying everyone into submission by dissecting it as if it's Citizen Kane.

03/26/2008

Dirk-less Mavs, UFO talk
Ben: Put a fork in the Mavs. Without Dirk, they'd have a hard time beating UTA, much less all of these monster teams in the West. Hopefully they'll miss the playoffs and get lucky in the ping-pong lotto, so they can draft a young point guard in the mold of Devin Harris. Wait, what?

03/19/2008

ABBA death, Mills/McCartney divorce, Economy
I immediately felt your pain when I read about the unfortunate accidental death of ABBA drummer Ola Brunkert this past weekend. I remember how much you loved that ABBA backbeat when you were in that retro dance club in high school called the Pleasant Dancing Gaieties. You guys really had the moves.

03/12/2008

Pacman fever, Today's Yoots, Madonna in the R&R HOF
Skin: Is everyone all in a tizzy over the Pacman Jones-Cowboys scenario because he may be a negative influence in the locker room, or because the local stripper community would appear to be in immediate peril?

03/05/2008

Indiana Jones, Gas Prices, Who is Alibaster K. Abthernabther
The new Indiana Jones trailer is the hottest thing to hit the Internet since Tommy and Pam re-energized the boating life and displayed alternative steering methods. You had a chance to view the new Raiders phenomenon yet?

02/27/2008

Oscars, Zach Thomas, Obama v. Clinton
Skin: So only one of the movies nominated for best picture did well at the box office, and the Oscar ratings hit an all-time low. Just think how good things will be a year from now, when we hit the time that the writers' strike catches up to the movies. I sense a lot of Rambo for that azz.

02/20/2008

'American Idol', Jason Kidd, Oscar predictions
Ben: This is the greatest thing to happen to Rockwall since it was successfully liberated from Mesquite following the Mullet War of 1982.