The Big Thing Review, reprinted from The Dallas Morning News:
The Quick's Big Thing music awards show was a roaring success last night. The Polyphonic Spree upended the crowd with a soul-shaking finale as lead singer Tim DeLaughter, suspended over the audience like a mop-haired angel, sang "Thank God for Kids" in his earnest tenor as orphans shuffled in from stage right wearing UPC codes.
Scanner-wielding audience members adopted 47 of the 53 kids in an unforgettable display of goodwill and performance art appreciation. It was one of those surreal spectacles that will gather attendees as history is retold.
The one downer of the evening, indeed the thing that almost killed the fledgling event, was the appearance of minor local "celebrity" Gordon Keith. Mr. Keith was tapped to emcee the program, a job he neither took seriously nor was capable of doing due to alcohol abuse.
The night started with promise, but Mr. Keith quickly leveraged the authority of the microphone to harass all attractive females within view. One girl, in a particularly low-cut dress, seemed to take the brunt of Mr. Keith's lewd comments and sexual recommendations. The fact that she was the councilwoman of District 14 did not seem to faze him.
Appearing at times disoriented and shirtless, Gordon frequently strafed the crowd with insults and spit-up, calling one musician's mother a "whore of whores," and branding another act "totally gay." His habit of cupping his hand up under a flapping arm while honorees accepted awards was classless.
Gordon's adopted stage persona of a French pirate with a lisp and periodontal cyst did not go over well and drew furrowed brows and violence before he wisely abandoned it.
His confusing "Polygamist Sketch" was supposed to be a send-up of current events, but the inaccuracies showed Mr. Keith's thin knowledge of the news story. Note to Mr. Keith: Polygamy has nothing to do with taking a lie detector test, and wholesale lifting of Chris Rock material is obvious and very offensive out of context.
Quick would be well-advised to find another host next year. Someone like say, Anyone Else.
Hear Gordon on "The Ticket" KTCK-AM (1310) weekdays from 5:30 to 10 a.m. Catch him on TV on The Gordon Keith Show, Saturdays at 11:35 p.m. on Channel 8. E-mail him at gordon@gordonkeith.com.
