New books tackle marriage minefields
08:47 AM CDT on Wednesday, April 23, 2008
E-mail your favorite oldies song lyrics to Leah at lashafer@gmail.com.
Since this week's podQast is an interview with a successful married couple who made it work through unusual circumstances (listen at QuickDFW.com/ girltalk), we thought this week's Girl Talk column could look at two new books about marriage.
One deals with the prenuptial period and prepping for marital bliss. The other is about what happens when a relationship is in the crapper and the couple decides to save it.
The 10 Conversations You Must Have Before You Get Married
(And How to Have Them)
by Guy Grenier ($14.95, Key Porter Books)
Most couples spend dozens, if not hundreds, of hours prepping and planning their perfect wedding ceremony, but few hours getting ready for the marriage itself. Author Grenier, a clinical psychologist, marriage counselor and sex therapist, has written a workbook of sorts for the newly engaged with 10 conversations every couple should have before walking down the aisle.
Forget the cheesy worksheets; this book uses case studies, Q&A starters and insights to foster communication.
This book is gold. So many of the common tension and fight-starters – such as sex, kids, division of labor and spirituality – are broken down into areas of potential conflict.
Can My Marriage be Saved? True Stories of Saved Marriages
by Mae and Erika Chambers ($13.99, Pass It On Publications)
The lyrics of an oldies song promise that after goin' to the chapel and gettin' married, you'll never be lonely again. If only that were true.
This book chronicles the stories of 22 real couples at the brink of divorce who somehow found a way to work through the pain, betrayal and disappointment to develop a richer marriage.
Mother-and-daughter team Mae and Erika Chambers have found couples who have seen serious pain – mental illness, cheating, sexual addiction, bankruptcy, drug use and the death of a child. Each story is associated with a particular ministry, so be prepared for quite a bit of God talk.
Many of these couples had someone suggest divorce to them, even pastors. And because divorce would be such an acceptable option for any of these couples, the anecdotes are all the more inspiring. Each story includes a brief history and rundown of the couple's problems and how they made it to the other side with their union intact. Good reading for anyone who's cynical about the prospects of marriage or who distrusts the institution in general.